Eclectic Seizure is the accidental calling
the piano black. Eclectic Seizure has incorporated dead air and interference
from the oldies station into its format. Eclectic Seizure has been a rock
show, a funk & ska show, a fake jazz show, a Czechoslovakian folk
music show, K90.1FM: The All-High Frequency Show for Dogs, an all-commercial
show, an all-Mahlers 5th symphony show, the Hour of Slack, all-sound-effects
radio, and a show to celebrate every holiday from New Years Day (The Hangover
Show (honestly the only time we got in trouble )) to The 18th Anniversary
of the Nicaraguan Revolution Show (1997) and The 110th Anniversary of
the Implementation of Global Standard Time Show (1993).
In this article I tell stories and name
names. I must be an old, old man; I have had so much fun. I have been
on WEFT Champaign since 1990. In pretty much the same timeslot. The jumbled
slum in the margins of strip programming: the much-sought-after Sunday
at midnight (recently moved to the primetime 10 PM) timeslot.
I remember the time before strip programming:
before WEFTs daytime programming involved consistent jazz &
blues. I fell in love with WEFT Champaign when I heard Mitch Altman play
Guy Lombardo & "Who Are the Brain Police?" in the same show. Mustve
been the late 80s. I fell so in love with two consecutive
station managers that for awhile I was also hosting every daytime slot
I could finagle. I had an afternoon show which was bread sandwiched between
two slabs of different meat: Kent McKonkeys Old Timers Country
Music Show & Kim Johnsons Sludgefunk show. I called that timeslot
The Human Segue hoping someone would get it. Back then, at the same
time every week, I would destroy a record from the seventies by shattering
it on the air. Stuff like REO Speedwagons first album -- whatever
struck me as particularly bad that week.
I started hosting the midnight show before
WEFT was a 24-hour station; it used to go off the air at 2 AM. I used
to play the sign-off tape and then stay on the air broadcasting silence
for many minutes, then the sound of a door slamming, then more silence,
then the sound of breathing. I must admit that my only intention was to
freak people out. I assumed my primary audiences were: people driving
home from bars, people who had fallen asleep during Departing Platform
5, people on stimulants, people working dreary graveyard shifts (including
one enthused ska fan), fatigue-crazed students up all night studying or
writing papers due Monday morning, and various combinations of the above.
I liked that audience.
The Sunday at midnight show was first called
Wading through a Ventilator. After that it was Funk, Skank & Slack.
Finally, Eclectic Seizure was born from a bad joke in 1992. That bad joke
was The Jack Testosterone Show ("The most well-hung man youll ever
hear." ) It is always nice to listen to those tapes and hear Rick, Joe,
Bethany, Mark and I, basically, doing our best to crack each other up
until there was only one person standing to press play. We played a lot
of experimental 20th century classical music, stuff that FM has totally
neglected: music with silences, twelve-tone, electronic music. But we
always introduced it as if it were country, jazz, or blues.
I wish I could list the strangers and casual
friends who wandered in off the street and ended up on the air. Like The
Screaming Mummy. In 1997, two mysterious writers in one night. Brian Krumm,
or Barney, Mark, & John doing improvised weather reports. But if I
mentioned them it would be because I forgot about people I talked into
planning shows with me: Michael Holloway, Nina Paley, Herbert Brün,
Susan Parenti, Larry Goldfarb, Warren Burt, Paul Kotheimer, Address Unknown
(a Chicago theater troupe of homeless and formerly homeless people), Patch
Adams, Scott Rettberg
And to mention them is to neglect the Eclectic
Seizure Radio Theater Collective (people who attended regularly for at
least a month in very approximate order of first appearance on the show):
Rick Burkhardt, Joe Futrelle, Mark Enslin, Bethany Cooper, Keith Johnson,
Carol Huang, Adam Cain, Rishi Zutshi, David Fruchter, Sam Markewich, Andy
Gricevich
And the bands? Catgut, Hardvark, Jaw, the Prince Myshkins,
the Ad-Hoc Phil Ochs Ensemble, & APPA: Alabaster Pterodactals and
the Plastic Attitudes. And what about the music made by the Eclectic Seizure
Radio Theater Collective itself? Original songs by Bethany Cooper, Rick
Burkhardt, Danielle Chynoweth, Joe Futrelle, Adam Cain, Katie McDowell,
Sam Markewich
In many cases songs were written for a particular
show: for you. How many radio shows write their own music? And to reminisce
about the Collective is to forget appearances by Jeff Glassman, Maria
Silva, Brian Hagy, Elizabeth (Moth?), Jean Kim, Carol Huang, Ben Blanchard,
Frank Marquardt, Genevieve Futrelle, Anetta Pendretti, Sam Patterson,
Frank Lombauer, Tony Macauluso, Chris Kólár, Brendan Holloway,
Nathaniel Holloway, Drake Depew, Aimee Rickman, the students of LAS 295
and Music 145. And now that Ive mentioned all them, the thirty or
so people I forgot must really feel stung. Please understand that one
two-hour show per week for five years means that Eclectic Seizure has
been on the air for about 22 solid days. That works out to be about 92
songs, 176 poems, 1078 radio plays, & 1,846,254,855 mistakes
Weve done our best, I think, to mythologize
WEFT. There was a radio play (one of many produced by Adam Cain, the King
Midas of Audio Fidelity (everything he touches turns digital), about The
Great WEFT Fire of 1830 (back when WEFT was a telegraph outpost). And
there was another radio play in which WEFT was a spaceship drifting between
galaxies broadcasting the endangered music of Earth (which had been taken
over by a corporate rock global fascist empire). Of course, there was
the radio play in which WEFT (during a pledge drive) is arrested for aggressive
panhandling, goes to prison, and afterward cannot find a job. At least
twice, hosts of other shows were the subject of our show: Mikeljon &
Doug Down. I never forgot the play where a crew of pirates sets out with
a treasure map to dig up the bootlegs of old Staticbeard. The great Weft
curse. Also the play called The Night the Eclectic Guy Didnt Show
Up, in which we pretended that, because the airshifter was late for the
show, a series of increasingly improbable airshifters stepped in to fill
the timeslot; these included a dog training show, a polka / cha-cha show,
and a new-wave synth-pop show . Because someone on the programming committee
was listening and thought I had actually failed to show up (although I
played maybe three parts in the play), I felt quite a bit like Orson Welles.
And, oh yeah, there was The Death of the Eclectic Guy, when we staged
my own on-air assassination.
My favorite memory of all, though, is my
memory of the night two tapes got stuck in Keiths vans tapedeck.
Keith had written a play in which Adam (probably playing WEFT roving reporter
Chip Wilcox or WEFT chief engineer Trevor Kajilligard) had to read his
lines into a wireless microphone sitting outside in Keiths van while
playing background sound effects on the vans tapedeck. If Adam Cain
is the King Midas of Sound Engineering, then Keith Johnson is Rube Goldberg.
Otherwise manageable radio plays were made way more interesting to work
out with the addition of wireless microphones, tapedecks and amplifiers,
detuned shortwave radios, pure static mixed in off the satellite downlink,
and additional mixing boards plugged into the mixing board. Not that I
helped any; I was the one who brought in laptops and printers (for a radio-show
featuring only electronic music & computer-generated writing), an
actual answering machine (for Answering Machine Radio), and my trusty
microcassetterecorder, truly the most reliable piece of equipment Ive
owned. I was the one who miked the typewriters we were using to hurriedly
try to write the show before it was over. And all this not to mention
shows too complicated to even mention, like Twenty Consonant Radio and
Police Scanner Radio.
Eclectic Seizure is a place where local
and visiting artists, including those who do not make art, get to find
out how much fun Frequency Modulation can be. Yes, I know WEFT is better
than anything on it, and weirder. Our show just offers a condensed version
of the inconsistency, ecstasy, and madness that is WEFT. Eclectic Seizure
celebrates experimental radio in a way most commercial disc jockeys would
have trouble getting into or away with. As WEFT offers music you would
never hear on any other station, so does Eclectic Seizure offer music
you cant even hear on WEFTlike good songs played live for
the first time ever. Our show is my heart, and it only beats once a week.
Sundays at 10 PM this fall: All The Hard Time Killing Floor News Thats
Fit To Sing (dedicated to highly subjective reporting of local news and
newspapers, in the form of original poetry, music, and theater; cohosted
by Danielle Chynoweth), Paul Kotheimer Unplugged, The Herbert Brün
Radio Hour (my friend Herbert has, of late, been programming music for
me selected from his personal collection: waltzes, electronic music, piano
concertos, and 20th century music celebrating the interrogation of capitalism),
and Radio Utopia (cohosted by the School for Designing a Society). Tune
in sometime. If you dont dig it, thats actually a good sign:
itll be totally different the next week. Eclectic Seizure: Psychedelinquent
Schizophradio.
(originally published in The WEFT Revue
(5:5) September-October 1997)
PHOTOS
RADIO THEATER
Last Show, by Rick
The Making of the Making of Eclectic Seizure, by Joe
The Murder of Aunt Barbara, by Joe
Ronald and Edna Get Blown Up, by Joe
Conceptual Art, By Joe
Cooking with Ronald and Edna, by Joe
Ronald and Edna: The Presidential Debate, by Joe
Edna Enjoys the Beautiful Autumn Leaves, by Joe
Duck Hunting with Ronald and Edna, by Joe
Little Timmy's Nightmare, by Joe
Ronald and Edna go to Counseling with Pac-Man Therapy, by Joe
Support Little Timmy! Pledge Now! (1), by Joe
Support Little Timmy! Pledge Now! (2), by Joe
Thanksgiving with Ronald and Edna, by Joe
Riding the Rails with Ronald and Edna, by Joe
INCOMPLETE CAST LIST
William Gillespie with
Patch Adams
Address Unknown
the Ad-Hoc Phil Ochs Ensemble
Alabaster Pterodacatal and the Plastic Attitudes (APPA)
Johann Sebastian Bach
Anne Bargar
Barney
Ben Blanchard
Herbert Brün
Rick Burkhardt
Warren Burt
Cabin Pressure Loss
Aaron Cain
Adam Cain
Catgut
Danielle Chynoweth
Bethany Cooper
Drake Depew
Clark Depew
Doug Down
Elizabeth (Moth?)
Mark Enslin
Carl Estabrook
Ezra
David Fruchter
Joe Futrelle
Jeff Glassman
Andy Gricevich
Brian Hagy
Michael Holloway
Carol Huang
John
Lisa Fay
Howard Fishbein
Genevieve Futrelle
Junetta Gillespie
Larry Goldfarb
Guerilla Parlor Ensemble
Hardvark
Brendan Holloway
Nathaniel Holloway
Michael Holloway
Meadow Jones
Jean Kim
Brian Krumm
Mark Peasley
Skye Hall
Jaw
Keith Johnson
Chris Kólár
Paul Kotheimer
LAS 295
Mike Lehman
Frank Lombaer
Tony Macauluso
Casey Malone
Sam Markewich
Frank Marquardt
Kate McDowell
Mort's Walker
Music 145
Susan Parenti
Annetta Pendretti
Nina Paley
Sam Patterson
The Prince Myshkins
Scott Rettberg
Aimee Rickman
Steve Runkle
The Screaming Mummy
Maria Silva
Justin Smith
Ben Stone
Dirk Stratton
Jim Zimmerman
Rishi Zutshi